Doctors, nurses, and patients were everywhere, preoccupied with their business unable to notice others entering the building. The atmosphere was deadly; the feeling of suffrage reflected by the patients was tangible just from the entrance. The existence of smiles was endangered while tears had been flourishing on the other side of these doors.

The doors opened.As a young child with only naivety and innocence hovering upon my mind I had assumed this was another family adventure. Our family adventures could be simply classified as a trip to the grocery store or even a plane ride to halfway across the world, but little did I know this adventure had nothing but tragedy waiting for me.

 My father and sister were by my side and we were only a step away from the entering what seemed like an alternate passage to hell when suddenly my father had stopped. He knelt down and pulled my sister and I close to him abruptly. My father had never been one to show his affection publicly, appalled by his hug we were only able to manage to return this sudden embrace. Once his grasp loosened I had a glimpse of my father’s eyes and was able to see through his phony smile. He hesitated to look back at me and took  advantage of every opportunity to look towards the ground. I took his hand and my sister’s with the intention that we would walk through those doors together with our chins up high and with smiles.

She was sitting up and glaring at the little specks that had floated near her – engrossed in this activity, she did not acknowledge our arrival. “Mama!” We exclaimed with pure excitement. We dashed to her bed side and smothered her with an infinite amount of kisses. We embraced her and held her close unwilling to let her go. As young children we always believed the tighter the hug the more they feel the love. As well as stripping her hair from her scalp, the chemotherapy had also taken away her strength. Her eyes spoke of pain but her voice said nothing. Although this encounter had satisfied my craving to see her, it felt incomplete without her radiant smile. Her smile and laughter had a reputation to be infectious to others but this smile had vanished and we were uncertain when it would return back to us.

Time was my enemy on that day. What felt like only a few minutes had actually been an hour and now it was time to leave. I wanted to stay by her side. I missed her kisses, her stories, her lullabies, and her showering us with her love every waking moment. I wanted to scream when my father had dragged me away from the bed and my mother had let go of my hand pushing me towards him. While holding my sister’s hand and carrying me on the other, my father had exchanged farewells and left her.