“I thought I was going to die.”

 This was my mother’s answer when I asked her if she thought she was going to survive, now she is a twelve year cancer survivor and my hero.  Those were the words that stuck by me throughout this interview. I asked questions cautiously with the intention of not overwhelming her about this dark time in her past so she would be able to finish the interview.

” What were your initial thoughts when you found out that you have cancer?”

“Your sister and you were the first ones to come to mind. I wanted to be there for your graduation, wedding, and every momentum you faced. I wanted to be there for you both. I’ve never been fond about this world and I was okay with going but I did not want to abandon you both.”

Even during difficult times of inner struggles she had thought about us and this was a reflection of my mother’s personality.  She has always been a beautiful individual and is a living example of what inner and outer beauty is.

“When did Appa and I find out about you having cancer?”

”We never specifically thought about telling you both discreetly since we thought you two were too young to understand. I think you found out when everyone else did.”

“What were you feeling during this journey?”

” I was scared. Everything started to change. People started to stare when the hair began to disappear. I got treated differently with the family and at work which added to my self consciousness. People did not understand that I was the same person but different.”

“What kind of support did you get from the family or friends?”

” I became sensitive towards particular foods so one of your aunts would make me her famous dishes for me everyday. Your other aunt would drive me to all my appointments and your other aunt would take care of you because I was too sick to find strength. You’re grandmother was also someone who helped me so much through this difficult time. That’s why I tell you that I may be your mom but you were lucky enough to have more than one women play the role of your mother.”

“What are lasting effects you still see today?”

” I still have trouble with my right arm. I am not able to do much work which is one of the reasons I became a full time mom. I lost time with my girls, and I was struggling. I needed a way to get back on my feet.”

“Do you have any advice for people who were recently diagnosed?”

“Positivity is key. Support is key. You are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with getting help. It’s a rough journey.”

Promptly after asking these questions I read her my narrative of my perspective of her struggle. As I read it I was hoping for reactions in-between words but the room was dead silent. When I completed the piece I looked up and she was in tears.

“Thank you.”