I look in the mirror
Who do I see?
A hideous troll staring back at me.
I was a washed painting
While everyone else was a masterpiece.
With eyebrows for long brush strokes
And valleys of unused skin
Eyes that long for the forgotten stars
Stolen by horrendous scars
I became sick of all the lies, cries, and swollen eyes.
Feeling ashamed and afraid
Caught up with all this chaos I choose to conceal my pain.
How dare they?
How dare they tell me how to feel?
They have the audacity to think it’s okay to point out my flaws.
Comparing me to a malfunctioning machine
This is what needs to be fixed.
This is what needs to change.
. This is what needs to be disposed.
Enough- I am sick of it.
I look in the mirror- and what’s in front of me?
A girl who has given up.
A girl who has been consumed by her demons.
A girl who only believes
She is the monster staring back at me.
But I want to see and appreciate
Those wandering eyes that are too naive to speak of lies.
Hair big enough to be able to enter another galaxy
Excess skin that is there so there is more of her to love
Cheeks that have been squeezed to the point of pain
By every relative to express their infinite amount of love for her
I want to understand that no one is ideal.
I want to believe I am loved for every single flaw I display
with my body, mind, and spirit.
And when mama says “You are beautiful”
I crave to not only believe it but to feel it
Because mama is always right
I want to strangle that monster who consumes my reflection
But how can I murder something that I am told doesn’t exist
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why are you letting me fall
Trapped with this monster who is taking over my mind
Who is driving me to the point of insanity
Mirror mirror off the wall
You do not have the power to make me feel small.
Beauty is not skin deep as a mirror would make it seem
I won’t chase those bottles and bars
I will aim for the stars
My body is a kingdom that won’t crumble because of your words.
I will rise like an empress
Even if this feeling has become relentless
Why don’t you understand?
It’s time for me to see the beauty.
It’s time for me to destroy my perception of ugly.
It’s time for me to feel worthy.
Asna.A
Image Credit: D.W